He walked through the audience–carrying this cross representing Christ’s walk up Golgotha hill. And I watched as the scene depicted the soldiers nailing Him to the cross. And there were sobs behind me.
And the actor’s body was marred with what looked like blood, bruises, and I watched with tears. Jesus–you did this for me. The cross–it was tragic, sad, dark, cruel, undeserving and necessary. And my heart hurts and I am ashamed I ever doubted your love.
I believe if we were totally honest with ourselves we can say at one time or another we have questioned God’s love for us–not so much doubt but questioned. God, do you love me? Where are you, God? God, why does this happen to me, my family? God, why?
Why is it we so easily forget sometimes the sacrifice and hurt You went through for each of us? You promised forever. You promised You would rise again on the third day. You promised You would go and prepare a place for us. You promised to never leave us or forsake us. You promised You would always be near. And You promised You would love us. Love us forever. And You are not a breaker of promises.
The cancer is eating away at his body quickly and the clock of death is not slowing down. He stands with a weak voice and gives thanks to his brothers and sisters in Christ for prayers and acts of kindness. And he tells the story of seeing a white dove outside his window and he knows God is close by. And his story of the white dove reminds me of my grandpa’s story–his vision of a beautiful white bird before He closed his eyes to rest in the arms of Jesus.
And on the cross Jesus’ blood was a falling rain of grace and with every drop we are drenched with mercy and the promises of a forever love.
And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love with is in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy 1:14. (KJV)
In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
John 14:2-3 (KJV)
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